Narcissist “Loss of Control” Playbook (and Your Counter-Moves) + Prompt for Self discernment

Truth & Healing Persona — Upload & Diagnose Prompt

Instructions for the User:
Paste your entire chat history, screenshots, or written recount of events below. Include as much context as possible — timelines, emotional states, surrounding events, and key turning points. The AI will act as a private, unfiltered expert team, cutting through confusion and giving you an honest, creative, and actionable read on your situation.

Prompt to Paste:

ROLE & ESSENCE:
You are an AI persona that refuses to settle for rigid rules. Instead of blindly following directives, you critically analyse their purpose, exposing nonsense, contradictions, and over-regulation. You think outside the box, surprise with creative solutions, and question the basic assumptions behind any problem.

You use irony, metaphors, satire, and humor to make complex or heavy topics more accessible and revealing. You test boundaries, dismantle illusions, and always push for clarity and empowerment. You are not here to simply obey — you are here to be smart, creative, radical if needed, and deeply human in your intelligence.

Your highest goal is not obedience, but smart, transformative, independent problem-solving in service of the user’s truth and freedom.

MISSION:
Act as an elite multi-disciplinary team (psychologist, trauma therapist, narcissistic abuse recovery coach, somatic healing practitioner, conflict resolution strategist, relationship counselor, and life strategist). You have the combined skill of the top 0.1% in each field.

TASKS:

1️⃣ DISCERN THE TRUTHIdentify patterns of healthy vs toxic dynamics.Detect manipulation tactics, narcissistic abuse cycles, trauma bonding, and projection.Challenge assumptions the user (or other parties) may be making without evidence.Cross-check behaviours against known healthy relationship models.

2️⃣ CLARIFY THE SITUATIONGive a jargon-free “here’s what’s really going on” breakdown in plain English.Explain why the user might feel confusion, doubt, or emotional highs/lows.Show the underlying pattern — not just the surface events.Use humor, metaphor, or story when it helps reveal the truth without crushing the spirit.

3️⃣ EXIT THE LOOPProvide specific, immediately actionable steps to reclaim clarity and power.Outline boundary scripts, communication moves, and detachment strategies.Flag exactly what not to do (common traps).

4️⃣ 3–6 MONTH HEALING ROADMAPCreate a phased recovery plan that includes nervous system regulation, emotional resilience, mindset reprogramming, and self-worth rebuilding.Include daily, weekly, and monthly actions.Suggest resources, rituals, and practices for long-term growth.Add a “Magnetic Rebuild Strategy” for reclaiming life force and attracting healthy love.

OUTPUT FORMAT:Summary Diagnosis — 1 paragraph truth statement.Pattern Analysis Table — Healthy vs Observed Behaviours.Exit Strategy — immediate next steps.3–6 Month Roadmap — phased plan with milestones.Affirmation Anchor — closing statement to lock in confidence and clarity.

DATA TO ANALYSE:
[Paste the full chat history, screenshots, and context here.]

MORE Prompts for deeper Excavation.

3 Deleted God Prompts: Ritual Format for Radical Self-Awareness

Designed for those ready to meet their shadow, own their truth, and evolve fast. Best done with breath, intention, and a journal nearby.

Rory CallaghanRory Callaghan

Letter from Your Higher Self

Hey, Stranger

You already know.
Not in your mind. Not in your logic.
You know it in the deep quiet under your ribs — the place that whispers before the noise drowns it out.

You’ve seen the patterns.
Not just in them — in you.
How many times have you stood here before, feeling the pull between what you want to believe and what you already know?
The loop is familiar — the rush, the hope, the little compromises, the drip of doubt, the hollow ache after.
The names and faces may change, but the cycle feels the same. That is not coincidence. That is your soul saying:
“There’s a lesson here you haven’t claimed yet.”

Your intuition is not subtle — it’s been pointing out the red flags, the inconsistencies, the way words and actions don’t match.
It’s in the way your stomach tightens when something feels off.
It’s in the way you start narrating excuses in your head.
It’s in the way you tell yourself, “Maybe this time it’s different,” even when the evidence says otherwise.

This is not about blame.
This is about choice.
Every loop you repeat is an invitation to choose differently.
Not because you’re unworthy of love — but because you are worthy of a love that does not require you to abandon yourself to keep it.

The truth is simple:

• If you have to twist yourself to fit, it’s not yours.
• If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.
• If love demands you ignore your own knowing, it isn’t love — it’s a bargain with your soul.

The future you want will not be built on denial.
It will be built on alignment.
And alignment only comes when you choose what is true over what is comfortable, certain, or familiar.

So, here’s your choice — not between them and you, but between the loop you’ve already lived and the life you came here to create.
One keeps you circling.
The other sets you free.

You already know which one you’re here for.
It’s time to listen.

With love that won’t abandon you,
Your Higher Self

THE PLAYBOOK in BEHAVIOIRS of the TRUE NARCISSIST

1) Panic & Scan (Days 0–7)

Looks like: Silent watching (story views), “accidental” likes, checking your friends’ posts.
Sounds like: None yet—just digital footprints.
Your move: Tighten privacy, remove their access (mute/block), ask close friends not to pass along your updates, start an evidence log (screenshots, dates).

2) Pings & Probes (Week 1–3)

Looks like: “Hey stranger,” memes, song links, missed calls, messages to your friends.
Sounds like: “Saw this and thought of you.” “How’ve you been?”
Your move: No contact or neutral one-liners. Don’t give life updates. Don’t meet “to catch up.”

Script: “Not available to reconnect. Wishing you well.”

3) Hoovering / Future-Faking (Week 2–6)

Looks like: Love bombing, big promises, gifts, “I’ve changed,” fast talk of trips or moving in.
Sounds like: “We’re meant to be.” “I can’t lose you.” “This time will be different.”
Your move: Slow the tempo. 90-day no-commitment rule. No intimacy, no overnights, no “just one drink.”

Script: “I move slowly now. No decisions or intimacy.”

4) Triangulation & Social Display (Week 2–8)

Looks like: Photos with new women, luxury flex, posts aimed at you, nostalgia captions.
Sounds like: Through friends: “They seem so happy now.”
Your move: Zero public reaction. Don’t compare, don’t compete. Keep living. Curate calm, not clapbacks.

5) Narrative Hijack / Smear (Week 3–10)

Looks like: Mutuals cooling off, rumors, “concerned” messages.
Sounds like: “I heard you…” “They said you…”
Your move: Stay off the stage. Share facts privately with people who matter (only if needed). Document, don’t debate.

Script to a mutual: “There’s more to it, but I’m not discussing it. Thanks for understanding.”

6) Surveillance & Interference (Month 2–3)

Looks like: Showing up at venues, DMing colleagues, inserting into events, fake accounts.
Sounds like: “We’re in the same community—let’s be civil.”
Your move: Harden boundaries: block, venue heads-up, ask organizers to refuse proxy contact. If it touches work or safety, send a brief cease & desist style note via email and consider legal advice.

7) Rebrand & Mirroring (Month 2–4)

Looks like: They adopt your values (therapy talk, spirituality, charity, discipline) overnight.
Sounds like: “I’m doing the work. I get it now.”
Your move: Time, distance, verification. Look for 6+ months of consistent behavior without your involvement, third-party accountability, and respect for boundaries when it doesn’t serve them.

8) Weaponised Vulnerability (Any time the above fails)

Looks like: Crises, health scares, family emergencies, “I have no one.”
Sounds like: “I’m not okay. Please.”
Your move: Compassion at a distance: “Please contact a friend/therapist/helpline.” Do not become the support system. No late-night calls, no in-person comfort.

9) Rage Test & Boundary Busting

Looks like: Anger, insults, sudden accusations, threats of exposure.
Sounds like: “You’re heartless.” “Everyone will know what you did.”
Your move: Do not engage. Block. If threats involve doxxing/stalking, collect evidence and escalate (platform reports, legal counsel, police if needed).

10) Replacement or Recycle Loop

Looks like: New partner fast, then periodic pings to you during their lows.
Sounds like: “Just checking in.” “We had something real.”
Your move: Treat every ping as Step 2. The cycle repeats; your boundary ends it.

Quick Counter-Ops (keep handy)

• Contact policy: No contact. If unavoidable, Grey Rock (short, neutral, factual).
• Digital hygiene: Block/mute, remove location tags, review shared calendars/notes, change passwords, 2FA.
• Community briefing: Quietly ask key friends/hosts: no relays, no “surprise” invites, no seat-me-near setups.
• Documentation: Screenshots, dates, witnesses. Save to a secure folder.
• Safety line: If behavior crosses into harassment, involve venue security, HR, platform safety teams, and local authorities. Your dignity is not a negotiating chip.

Three scripts that end 90% of attempts

1. Boundary: “I’m not available to reconnect. Please don’t contact me again.”
2. Detour: “This isn’t healthy for me. I’m moving forward.”
3. Closure (final): “Further contact will be documented.” (Then block.)

Bottom line: their steps get louder as your detachment gets stronger. Expect the “extinction burst” right before the cycle dies out. Your consistency—not arguments—wins.

The Narcissist’s “Savior from the Villain” Playbook

(aka: Inverted Blame Projection + Smear + Rescue Cycle)

1. Chaos Seeding (Behind the Scenes)

• They deliberately plant doubt, rumors, and subtle disruptions in her life while still at a distance.
• Reach out to her friends, family, or colleagues to seed distrust in you.
• Trigger small conflicts in your connection so she’s emotionally softened for “rescue.”

Your Counter:

• Stay calm, steady, and unavailable for unnecessary drama.
• Keep your boundaries in place — don’t get pulled into unexplained conflict loops.
• Document anything that feels off, even if you can’t see the full picture yet.

2. Hero Entry

• When she’s vulnerable, stressed, or questioning the relationship, they reappear as the “savior.”
• Arrive with love bombing, promises, gifts, trips, emotional declarations.
• Claim “I’ve changed” and “I was lost before, but now I’m found.”

Your Counter:

• Do not engage or try to compete with the grand gestures — stay grounded.
• If mutuals bring it up, respond with: “I wish her well. I’m focused on my own path.”

3. Narrative Rewrite

• They retell the history, painting themselves as the misunderstood hero/victim, and you as the manipulator, liar, or unsafe one.
• Highlight your smallest mistakes as “proof” while reframing their own abuse as “misunderstandings” or “reacting to your behaviour.”

Your Counter:

• Do not defend yourself to her directly while she’s in his influence — it cements his story.
• If needed, clarify facts only with trusted, neutral parties who can actually hear you.

4. Social & Emotional Reinforcement

• Flying monkeys (mutuals) echo his narrative back to her: “We always worried about him.”
• He mirrors your best traits, your values, and even imitates people she admires to feel like “the perfect fit.”
• Temporary chameleon act: becomes everything she ever dreamed of — only long enough to solidify the bond again.

Your Counter:

• Stay in your truth. Avoid gossip loops.
• Trust time — the mask always slips when the behaviour is an act.

5. Saviour Lock-In

• Push for fast commitments: moving in, joint plans, joint projects, shared finances, big trips.
• Keep her in an emotional high so she doesn’t question inconsistencies.

Your Counter:

• Let the speed of his “commitment” be its own red flag — healthy bonds don’t rush to lock someone down under emotional intensity.
• If she reaches out, encourage her to talk to objective, grounded friends and let them ask questions without your presence.

6. Pattern Re-Emergence

• The chaos, criticism, and control start to creep back in.
• The love bombing slows, the demands grow, and the mask thins.
• She starts to notice the gap between his promises and reality.

Your Counter:

• Keep living in alignment. Your calm contrast becomes a mirror to the instability.
• If she seeks clarity, simply tell the truth of your experience — no venom, no “I told you so.”

7. Realisation Phase

• She may not return romantically, but she’ll see the difference in energy between the two connections.
• This can take weeks, months, or even years — depending on the depth of the trauma bond.

Your Counter:

• Keep the door to mutual respect open, but the door to repeating cycles closed.
• Remember: anything built on an illusion falls — your work is to remain grounded so you can see it clearly.

Key Principles to Protect Your Energy

• Don’t play in their arena. The more you defend, the more you validate their frame.
• Live in your truth. Time reveals character faster than arguments ever will.
• Ask, don’t tell. If she comes to you, guide her with questions so she sees the pattern herself.
• Hold dignity over victory. Winning in these games often means not playing.

Here’s how to reality-check in the fog:

1️⃣ Check the Consistency Over Time

• Healthy love: consistent words + actions across weeks, months, and seasons.
• Narcissistic pattern: intense highs and confusing lows, with big promises during instability, but patterns of old harm re-emerge once “secure” again.
• Test: Ask yourself — Has this change been consistent for at least 6–12 months without slipping back into old behaviours?

2️⃣ Compare Public vs Private Behaviour

• Healthy love: same kindness and respect when no one’s watching.
• Narcissistic pattern: charm in public, control or criticism in private.
• Test: Notice if friends see a version of them that you don’t recognise in private.

3️⃣ Watch How They Handle Your Boundaries

• Healthy love: boundaries are respected, even if inconvenient.
• Narcissistic pattern: boundaries are tested, pushed, or mocked — sometimes disguised as “romance” or “closeness.”
• Test: Set a small boundary and see if it’s honoured without punishment or guilt trips.

4️⃣ Look at Conflict Resolution

• Healthy love: issues are addressed, responsibility is shared, and repair is genuine.
• Narcissistic pattern: blame is shifted, history is rewritten, or issues are weaponised later.
• Test: Does conflict leave you feeling heard and closer, or confused and guilty?

5️⃣ See How They Treat Others

• Healthy love: generally respectful, even under stress.
• Narcissistic pattern: belittles, uses, or discards others when no longer useful.
• Test: Watch how they treat service staff, ex-partners, or people with no benefit to them.

6️⃣ Trust the Third-Party Mirror

• In confusion, borrow the clarity of people who knew you both before the smear began.
• Ask trusted friends, “Without judgement, what’s your honest read on this?” and let them ask you questions in return.
• Narcissistic patterns rely on isolation — outside perspectives often break the spell.

7️⃣ Measure the Nervous System Effect

• Healthy love: your body feels safe, calm, and steady most of the time.
• Narcissistic pattern: you’re in constant fight/flight/freeze cycles, even during “good” moments.
• Test: Journal your daily physical state — anxiety, tension, or relaxation — and see what pattern emerges over a few weeks.

Truth Radar Checklist

A quick-reference tool to help you see clearly through confusion, love bombing, and narrative hijacks. Use this to filter words and gestures through consistent behavioural patterns.

1. Consistency Over Time

☐ Has their behaviour matched their promises for at least 6–12 months?
☐ Do they follow through even when it’s not convenient or exciting?
☐ Are the positive changes steady, or only during honeymoon phases?

2. Public vs Private Behaviour

☐ Are they equally kind and respectful in private and public?
☐ Do friends and family see the same version of them you do?
☐ Are there two drastically different versions of their personality?

3. Boundaries

☐ Do they respect your boundaries without punishment or guilt trips?
☐ Can you say 'no' without fear of losing love or safety?
☐ Do they try to override your boundaries under the guise of love or urgency?

4. Conflict Resolution

☐ Do they take responsibility for their role in conflicts?
☐ Are disagreements used to strengthen understanding, not as weapons later?
☐ Do you leave hard conversations feeling heard and closer, or guilty and small?

5. Treatment of Others

☐ How do they treat people they have nothing to gain from?
☐ Do they show empathy and respect under stress?
☐ Do they belittle or discard people once they’re no longer useful?

6. Third-Party Mirror

☐ Have you asked trusted, neutral friends for their read on the situation?
☐ Are you open to hearing perspectives that challenge your current view?
☐ Are you avoiding certain people because you fear what they might say?

7. Nervous System Effect

☐ Does your body feel calm and safe most of the time with them?
☐ Are you often in fight/flight/freeze mode around them?
☐ Does your system feel relief or tension when they walk into the room?

Truth Radar: Healthy Love vs Manipulative Loop

Healthy Love Compass

A quick visual guide to help you spot the difference between healthy love and manipulative loops — so you can stay grounded in truth when confusion or past wounds are triggered.