The Sacred Union: What Makes Someone the Right One to Devote ourselves too | First Self Union
A King and Queen’s Code for Sacred Union
Marriage, at its highest expression, is not a contract of convenience, it is a covenant of devotion. It is not built on performance, potential, or appearance. It is forged in daily choice. A thousand silent commitments to rise, fall, and rise again together.
We’ve been taught to look for the wrong things. We search for perfection instead of presence. We crave fireworks instead of depth. But sacred union isn’t found in the highlight reel. It is revealed in the spaces between conflict and repair, between truth and tenderness.
As a man walking the path of the spiritual warrior and integrated masculine, I’ve unlearned much. I’ve studied polarity, witnessed the wisdom of the awakened feminine, and lived through relationships that served as both my mirror and my crucible. And from that place, here’s what I’ve come to see:
The Right Woman to Marry
For a conscious man, the right woman is not the most polished, accomplished, or aesthetically curated.
She is the one who:
- Makes him feel like the most authentic version of himself
- Respects who he already is, without needing to fix him
- Receives with grace and speaks her needs with clarity
- Trusts his presence, his energy, his path
- Brings joy, depth, and emotional safety
- Believes in his mission, without losing herself in it
- Has her own rhythm, passions, and purpose
- Forgives and loves as he is, not as he might one day be
💡 She doesn’t compete with him. She partners with him. And when she does, he doesn’t just commit, he cherishes.
Pitfalls That Push Men Away
Many women unknowingly step into roles that diminish the polarity that once attracted them. These behaviors don’t come from ill intent, they are survival patterns, inherited beliefs, and unconscious habits. But they erode connection.
What pushes men away:
- Over-correcting or interrupting
- Micromanaging or testing love
- Withholding appreciation
- Comparing him to others
- Talking down to him or overanalyzing everything
- Expecting him to read her mind
- Not letting him lead or “win” in his way
💡 With awareness, these patterns can shift. When a woman leads with respect, trust, and authentic expression, men rise naturally. They want to give more. It's how we're wired.
The Queen’s Code
Inspired by Alison Armstrong’s work, the Queen’s Code is a lens for women to reframe their relationship with men, not as adversaries, but as allies.
A Queen:
- Speaks with reverence and honesty
- Receives without shame
- Asks directly and clearly
- Honors his instinct to provide
- Trusts his masculine essence
- Respects his timing and decisions
- Celebrates his wins
- Chooses him over and over again
💡 This is not about shrinking. It’s about standing in your full feminine power—and inviting him into his.
The Right Man to Marry
The right man is not defined by income, charm, or titles. He is defined by how he shows up.
He is a King when he:
- Holds space for her emotions without defensiveness
- Leads through love, not control
- Protects her energy, especially from himself
- Keeps his word, even when it’s inconvenient
- Cherishes her differences and her wildness
- Creates safety for vulnerability, mess, and magic
- Celebrates her capacity to receive
- Grows in partnership and owns his shadows
- Repairs quickly and forgives fully
- Commits not just once, but daily
💡 The right man doesn’t tame the Queen. He builds a kingdom where her light shines.
Sacred Union Is Built, Not Found
When the awakened feminine meets the integrated masculine, polarity becomes power. The relationship becomes a living organism, fed by presence, shaped by truth, sustained by devotion.
They don’t rely on roles. They create rituals.
They don’t avoid conflict. They repair and rise.
They don’t just survive together. They build something worthy of their lineage.
The Sacred Union Code:
- Polarity: She inspires, he provides
- Partnership: No winners or losers, only growth
- Repair: Mistakes become invitations to reconnect
- Presence: Not a one-time vow, but daily choice
Final Truth: You Become the One You Seek
Sacred partnership isn’t about perfection. It’s about truth. It’s not about fixing the other. It’s about becoming the version of yourself that could walk beside them without losing who you are.
When a woman rises in her Queen, soft yet fierce, receptive yet sovereign, she awakens the King.
When a man leads with devotion, structured yet fluid, anchored yet open, he holds space for the Queen to flourish.
Together, they create something that’s rare in this world.
Not just a marriage.
But a kingdom of love, power, and peace.
A place where both can rest.
Where both can reign.
Together.