My True North: The Journey Home
My path, my dharma, my centre, and the life that brings me love, peace, joy and fulfilment.
A personal reflection.
I don't need to discover a new purpose.
I need to return to the things that have always made me feel alive, connected, peaceful and fully myself.
Before the businesses, the retreats, the relationships, the betrayals and the responsibilities, there was a man who loved nature, movement, adventure, freedom, real connection and helping people.
That man is still here.
The way home isn't another achievement. It's remembering how to live from that place again.
The question this piece answers
How do you find your way back to yourself after a hard season?
The quick answer. For me, it isn't finding something new. It's returning to what has always filled my cup: the ocean, home, love, creation, movement and adventure. It means letting my purpose be how I live, not only what I produce, and stopping asking my Protector to lead every part of my life. And it means making my own everyday life the kind of nourishing environment I've spent years building for others.
What I experienced
My true north is a life I don't need to escape from. Simple. Healthy. Peaceful. Free. Loving. Creative. Purposeful.
Fulfilment comes when these live together. Not when I'm financially successful but emotionally exhausted. Not when I'm deeply in love but disconnected from my centre. Not when I'm serving thousands with no space for myself. The whole life matters.
My dharma has a golden thread. Across physiotherapy, SelfCare, mentoring, retreats, summits and writing, the form has changed and the intention hasn't. I help people remember their capacity to heal, grow, create and live more fully. People never needed to be fixed. They needed to be seen, understood, supported and nourished.
It shows up in different gifts. The Healer, reconnecting people with their bodies. The Teacher, making complex ideas simple. The Bridge Builder, connecting people and opportunity. The Creator, writing and designing experiences. The Mentor, moving people from potential into action. The Host, creating spaces of belonging. The Visionary, imagining healthier ways to live.
But my dharma isn't my job. I can live my purpose while surfing, being a friend, walking Beau, sharing a meal, or simply being present with someone. Purpose is how I live, not only what I produce.
What I learned
What fills my cup is surprisingly simple.
- The ocean. Surfing, swimming, sunlight, saltwater. I move out of analysis and into being alive. The ocean doesn't need me to achieve anything.
- Home. A simple, beautiful home near nature. Beau beside me. Good food, slow mornings, music. A sanctuary, not another project to manage.
- Love. Friendship, family, laughter, shared meals, affection, and one day a mutually chosen partnership and family. Being loved for the man, not only the mission.
- Creation. Writing, mentoring, teaching, designing retreats. Especially when ideas flow and the work feels like an extension of me. From inspiration, not obligation.
- Movement. BJJ, surfing, training, walking, mobility, sauna, cold water. Movement as a way of living, not another performance target.
- Adventure. Travel, snowboarding, new places, learning, beautiful moments with good people. Life is here to be experienced, not just managed.
Very few of these need a major financial win, a thousand-person event or a romantic relationship to be available. Those bigger dreams can enrich my life. They don't need to be the gateway to enjoying it.
I know what pulls me off centre. The pattern repeats. Something threatens trust, security or belonging. My Protector takes over: analyse, repair, provide, solve, hold. More thinking, more responsibility, less rest and play. Then exhaustion, disconnection, and less capacity to receive.
The work isn't to get rid of the Protector. It's to stop asking him to lead every part of my life. The King can provide structure. The Warrior can hold boundaries. The Creator can make things beautiful. The Lover can stay open. And the tender, tired, playful part of me needs a seat at the table too.
The wisdom I'd pass on
A daily compass. An invitation, not a score.
- Stillness. Ten minutes of breath, meditation, or sitting quietly.
- Gratitude. Name three things already beautiful in my life.
- Movement. Surf, walk Beau, train, swim or mobilise.
- Nature. Sunlight, trees, ocean air, bare feet on the ground.
- Creation. Write or build one meaningful thing before consuming content.
- Connection. Share a real moment with someone I trust.
- Receptivity. Allow help, affection, rest or enjoyment without earning it.
- Rest. End the day without trying to close every open loop.
On a hard day, I don't need all eight. Three conscious breaths, a glass of water, a walk outside and one moment of gratitude can be enough to start coming back.
A thirty-day rhythm.
What I'm favouring now. In business: fewer moving pieces, reliable income, clear agreements, good collaborators, work that doesn't need constant rescue. In love: mutual interest, tenderness, emotional availability, consistency over intensity. In health: sustainable daily vitality over extremes. Inside: feeling my emotions rather than turning each one into a problem to solve.
My code for coming home.
I am not my business. I am not my bank balance. I am not the relationships that stayed or left. I am not the people I helped or the responsibilities I carried.
I am the man beneath all of it. The man who loves the ocean. Who finds joy in movement, nature, music, laughter and adventure. Who loves deeply, creates beautifully and believes in the goodness of people.
I can be strong without being hardened. Loving without pursuing. Generous without abandoning myself. I can lead without carrying everything, receive without guilt, rest without earning it, and create without proving my worth.
My purpose isn't to sacrifice my life for others' wellbeing. It's to live well, love well, and share the overflow.
I am already home.
Where this does not reach
Finances and practical stability still matter. Returning to what fills my cup isn't a reason to ignore money, agreements or responsibilities. It's a reason to keep them in service of peace.
The compass isn't a test. Eight items is a menu, not a checklist to fail. Some days one is plenty.
Sometimes coming home needs support. If a hard season has left you depleted for a long time, a doctor, counsellor or trusted friend belongs in the picture too.
The evidence, named and dated
- White and colleagues (2019), Scientific Reports. In a large English sample, people who spent at least 120 minutes a week in nature were significantly more likely to report good health and high wellbeing than those who spent none. It supports building a life around the ocean and time outdoors. Limit: it's observational, so it shows an association, not proof of cause.
- Personal, and labelled: the true north, the daily compass, the thirty-day rhythm and the code are my own practice.
The shift
I've spent years building environments where other people can reconnect with themselves.
Now I'm making my own everyday life one of them.
One thing, for the next day
Before you open a single message tomorrow, do one thing from the compass. Just one.
Notice how the rest of the day feels.
The spine of it
I don't need a new purpose. I need to return. True north is a life I don't need to escape from. Love, peace, joy, purpose, freedom, belonging, together. My dharma's thread is helping people remember their capacity. Purpose is how I live, not only what I produce. What fills my cup is simple. Stop letting the Protector lead everything. A daily compass. A thirty-day rhythm. I am already home.
Questions people ask
How do I find my way back to myself? Return to what has consistently made you feel alive and like yourself, and build your days around those things.
What's the difference between dharma and a job? Your dharma is the deeper thread of what you're here to offer. A job is one form it can take. Purpose shows in how you live, not only what you produce.
How do I stop living in survival mode? Notice which protective part takes over when you feel threatened, and give rest, play and connection a regular place in your day.
Does time in nature really help? Research links regular time in nature, about two hours a week, with better reported health and wellbeing.
What if I can't do a whole wellbeing routine? Start with one small thing. On a hard day, a few breaths, water, a walk and one moment of gratitude are enough.
The ocean is still there. My body can still move. Beau is still beside me. I can still write, love, create, laugh and connect. My life is already happening.
If you had nothing to prove, nobody to rescue and nothing to repair today, what would you do simply because it makes you happy to be alive?